RFT90

So the process has slowed down in almost the exact way I worried. The Game barely evolves and the fact I was so gung-ho and now am having to slot it in with practical stuff like not burning out makes me feel weak. Dear reader, Jordan has had his fill of not being enough. I know you feel the same way but there is no way either of us can help each other, that fight is internal. When I forwent the young years I could have survived starving for my art for a JOB, I got a lot of g

A lot of this blog was meant to reach no one. In a silly spiteful move, SPECIFICALLY NO ONE FROM A GROUP OF PEOPLE I WANTED IT TO REACH VERY BADLY. It worked and I am on the other end of a roll credits moment. Feeling, like anyone should post credits, silly but also glad. They really gave me the closure I needed on my old life and now I can really enjoy my work and, yes, ok, some of the spite that comes with it. Thanks, one specific reader. You know who you are, don't be bloo

Been trying to learn GDscript for days on top of the work of everyday life. I don't feel the NEED to go faster but I still feel the fear of not going fast enough. Maybe that's being 37. I felt it before but not as intensely. Like, this could be the last time I leave a project to rot. Or the last time I "try" before I have "done". That can sometimes give way to other sadder thoughts about what would even happen if I made a game. I see trailers for other artists work (Hi Endac

Finished a simple tutorial and feel great. I have a nice community of people I never met with this amazing game called On-Together. Not much to say but I persist anyway. With only the support of my partner and nice people who all like to have a game running when doing work on their computers by themselves (plus or minus a child to take care of). Boring blog post I know but I owe you nothing. I owe myself more time to work on something I get more stoked about every step I take

I really just don't think people are capable of caring about me anymore. Not as an artist. Also in some ways as a person but we all have that. It has been 37 years and I'm just gonna write JORDAN's origin story now. No fun stuff. People won't even deign to hear what I think a good manga would be or a fun game. So here is just who I am: I was not well loved as a kid. A Mother who drank and drugged but had infinite love. A Father who thought he was faggy and weird (it was the

Typing this out is rather silly. It is the first day my demo exists as a concept. I have had the idea this demo is FROM for some time. I have also had a lot of people either just not care or flat out tell me it isn't good. Years of helping other people with their thing is over. I'm a Dad now. I have at least one "get" and it's that in my spare time I get to have something "productive" to do., It is to focus. 4 or so hours after raising a kid, on making a game. One that isn't